A poem I wrote the other night at 2am

Torn

It sucks

Wanting to be with you

Wanting to be in her shoes

It’s a place

Where there are no windows

Where time stands still

Yet I’m falling

Falling into the abyss

Falling far from any sort of bliss

This place

That has no end

That takes away my friend

She sucks

But I can’t hate her

No matter how hard I’ve tried

Because I want you to be happy

Even though I wish it was with me

Even though I know it will never be

I think of you

All the good that you do

All the moments we’ve had

I treasure you

With every fiber of my being

I long to hold you

My love

Burns deep like a flame

Though I’m scared to say your name

Time flies

The years go by like days

Though my love will never change

Yet I’m fading

Fading from this thought of being torn

Fading from this heart, I still call yours 

College Updates, and Thoughts

Listen, It's been quite some time, and this semester is quickly becoming the most overwhelming semester thus far. Trying to finish college is an intense and stressful process. All I do are projects. Film, and graphic design for advertising are the most time consuming. Also papers and lots of them relating to media and ethical issues. I'll be glad when this is all said and done, where i can just get the adobe suite and final cut and just edit all the things. play on illustrator and just simply CREATE.  That is my life's goal. I just want to create and be a part of the film making process and work with the people. Be the directors assistant and communicate effectively. It's been great so far, the learning aspect of it all. But things aren't as easy and I've had to put forth more time, effort, and dedication than I ever thought I would have in college. I'm a junior. This is my third year and I'm so close to the actual work force I can taste it. Deadlines may be the death of me. But at least I will be able to say that I have accomplished what I want to in life. And that getting a good education had a lot to do with it. That's all I have to say for now. 

College, Packing, and Adulthood

So, for the past couple of days I have started some new goals and continued with some old ones. Here is a list of things I have been up too, and things I have yet to accomplish. 

• Packing
• College
• Working retail
• Cut my hair
• Writing a fiction novel
• Writing a few songs
• Learning to play piano
• Editing youtube videos
• Painting my nails
• Drinking Coffee
• Sleeping

Nostalgia, Teenagers, and Life

This past weekend has made me realize quite a few things about myself. For starters, my parents and grandparents friend Mr. Billy came down to florida from north carolina, and he brought his daughter Eppie and her friend Bailey. They are 15 and 16 years old. And since I am a good person and friend, I had to entertain them and make friends with them. However, my little 12 year old cousin Tristen was over the entire time and I can only handle him for so long because he is obnoxious and persistent and never shuts up. At all. It's infuriating to say the least. So not only did I go to sleep with a massive headache, but woke up with one as well because not even 30 minutes after I woke up this morning, he was back over at my house. So lets review a couple things. I now realize just how old I actually am. Being 20 is wonderful but it comes with a strangely different kind of feeling. Being around 16 year olds make me feel like I'm in a completely different world. But its almost nostalgic considering that I used to be them. Well, in their element you could say. So here is to being an adult but still having fun with people who are good company.

Updates, August, and Awesome Videos

Hey guys its been quite some time. I am in the process of making a 25 facts about me video which will be posted within the next few days :) Also a new cover video featuring one of my friends will be up on monday also a possible tutorial video as well. Get excited because a lot of awesome videos will be coming your way the month of August! 

Thoughts of the day.

I'm so sick of my entire family expecting me to know every last detail about how to restore, backup, and save things on each one of their phones when they don't have individual laptops to do that too. I can't register all of these to one apple id because they each belong to different people. Especially after a long day of work and those struggles, this is what I have to look forward to when I come home. I can't wait until I go back to school soon in August as well as move out to California in less than 2 years. 

New Video!!

Keep An Eye Out!

Sometime today I will be posting a new video of my summer favorites haul. Its time I got a jump start on the beauty portion of my youtube channel. 

Nails From the Weekend: Dragon Scales

Colors used here starting with the top picture. Essie Shake your money maker and Butler Please. Toes done with OPI La Pazitively Hot. All topped with OPI gold shatter and a Sephora by OPI Top Coat. 

Nail Polish Collection: Inventory Day

So Today I decided to take a bunch of photos of inventory I did for my nail polish collection and so far I have counted a total of 92 which to me is a lot. I'm excited that it is growing immensely, so I guess you could say that I have a problem. Whatever. Enjoy.

Hair and Stuff

I guess now my hair is long enough to almost qualify as mermaid status. I'm not gonna cut unless it's absolutely necessary because I love it so much. 

Fresh Home-Grown Grapes

Movie Reviews: The Internship

The Internship is a film starring Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Dylan O'Brien, etc.
My rating was a 4.5/5 stars. The cast was great and Vince Vaughn has an incredible imagination and a gift for comedy. His costar Owen Wilson was a hilarious accomplice to the madness that is Vince's creative genius. The rest of the cast did a great job at portraying techy college students and innovators. Whoever helped with the technically and politically correctness of the script did a phenomenal job as well. Over all the movie ranks in my book as a great cross between comedy and good morality with great morale and focus at the end. No spoilers I promise.

Today's Nails: Metallica

Color seen here: Sephora by O.P.I. Nifty Shade of Grey with Top Coat by the same brand. Make sure to apply two or three costs of the color because it goes on somewhat sheer. It looks great with pale skin. 

Realizations

I definitely do not feel like going to work today. I feel sluggish and exhausted even though my body got rest. I need like a weeks vacation to recuperate enough to get back to my normal state. Some realizations I've had in the past few days are:

• regular AA batteries do not work my new camera. Must invest in re-chargeables and lithium batteries so I can record video easily.
• I need to dye my hair again because I'm getting sick of it being the way it is. 
• My stomach and body have been aching for no apparent reason so I need to start eating cleaner, drinking more water, and exercising for at least a solid hour everyday.
• I need to clean my room desperately, It is in severe destruction mode like one of those tornadoes hit it... too soon.
• I must get a few new pairs of shoes because my feet have been killing me. 

So theres another good list for you. Must get ready for work now because I have just over an hour to get ready and so far I have done nothing.

Camera Updates + a list.

I finally got my new camera and am in the process of planning my first 1080p beauty video.
I bough a Nikon Coolpix L610 full HD, with an 8g memory card and a travel tripod. I haven't quite decided what type of video I want to make but I've got time. So for now here's a list of things I need to do today.

• plan out the video
• take a shower
• fix my hair
• do my makeup
• paint toes
• start some laundry
• walk the dogs
• straighten up my room

So there's a few things. I also want to watch Harry Potter.

Today's Nails: Barbie

Polished used in this manicure include: Francesca's Out at Sea, O.P.I. Goldeneye accent nail. Same top coat as last time. 

Mama's Got A New Pair of Shoes

I love new shoes especially when they're free! 

Making Nail Polish

Today I made nail polish with my aunt Cheri, we made a total of ten. Such a fun experience I'd definitely do again. 

Names we came up with in order of appearance: glee themed

Trouty Mouth, Teenage Dream, Defying Gravity, Faithfully, Don't stop Believein',Don't Rain on my Parade, Gold Digger, Imagine, Girl On Fire, Empire State of Mind 

Being 20 is Scary...

Now that I'm 20, I have started realizing a lot of things. Here is a list of things that scare me now that I am 20.

• deciding where to move after college and how far away from home
• deciding the specifics of my future career
• deciding how soon I feel like graduating from college whether it be a year and a half, or two.
• deciding how I should prioritize my obligations over my own personal well being
• deciding when is the right time to tell my current employer that I will not be returning after this summer. 
• deciding when I should begin to look for Mr. right. Even if I should look to begin with. 
• deciding what color to dye my hair next.
• deciding when to de-clutter and re-organize my room and what plan of attack to use to start it.
• deciding what to get for my next tattoo and when and where I should get it. 
• deciding if it's worth it to get a car now or to just hold off for another few years for when I move.
• deciding what to do with my money, save it all.
• deciding if I should be selfish and focus on my life or to put my family first even though I want to create a better lifestyle for me. 

I think this pretty much ends my list. But I just needed to get some things off of my chest. Hopefully a new video will be posted on here as well as my youtube channel. Possibly a new one, so I will keep you updated. Still trying to decide what I should do with my youtube channel. Whether to start a new one just for beauty related things or just make a compilation channel of Beauty. Music. and Vlogs. Who knows??

Reasoning Behind My Blog Name...

To those who know me and everyone else, I thought I would share a bit of the reasoning behind my blog name and why it is called Fairytale State of Mind. For starters, when I don't keep myself busy with work or watching films and television series, I spend the majority of my day, day dreaming. My mind is in a constant state I like to call fairytale land. I create a whole other world in my head where nothing ever goes wrong and everything happens in the best case scenario. I know it sounds silly. But I'm strange so bear with me. We are all a little mad, right? I like to escape from reality, that's why perhaps I am so in love with films and television series, because it takes me into another world where no drama of my own takes place and everything bad that happens, doesn't happen to me. I just get to sit back and watch. I don't mean to sound like I hate the world in which I do live in. It's just the fact that another world would be so much better. I like reality and I am excited to see what God has in store for the rest of my life. However, I still like having a Fairytale State of Mind.

Work and Camera Updates

Today is the first day in 4 days that I haven't had to go to work early. I go today at 3:30-10. Making money is what is important. Even though I feel like the weeks go by like days. I guess that's a good thing because I can't wait to go back to school in August. Also yesterday I found out that I am getting my camera on thursday. I'm trying to decide which one to get.

• Canon powershot full HD 1080p 
• Nikon Coolpixs full HD 1080p 16x optical zoom 

Those are just two of my options. Well, whichever one I decide to get, I'm for sure buying a 32g sd memory card class 10 because in order to make videos I need to have plenty of free space.
Also I am possibly thinking about getting an external hard drive as well as a disk drive for my macbook air 13'.

Makeup 6/7/13

Yesterday I forgot to show you how I did my makeup here are some pics for your enjoyment! 

Awaken the Beast

As I awake for the start of a new day, my entire body aches to remind me of the hard work to pay off from yesterday. My body tells me that it needs more rest than what it got but to my expense I do my have the time to give it what it needs. 9 hours doesn't seem like enough but I guess it will have to do for know considering the fact that Sunday holds busy and time consuming work, first is church then there's work until 7pm after that my body will get the rest it truly deserves. 

Work and Play

Today I worked a 7 hour shift and now I may possibly have blisters on my feet. eek. In other news I treated myself by shopping for a few things.

• butterfly print hi-low skirt
• a plain black v-neck tee
• a crew neck two tone navy and teal striped tee
• jelly like gladiator sandals in navy from Forever XXI
• and 2 sets of bangles. silver thin ones with hearts, and a tri-combo of silver/gold/rose-gold 

So overall it was a good day and I enjoyed meeting customers of all sorts. One lady was from England and another just happened to bring her Dachshund named Oscar in a baby stroller. Oh the adventures of working at JCPenney's.

Lists and Blog Updates

Today whilst going through my nail polish collection to decide what to do with my nails today, It came to my attention that my blog should contain all the things in my life that I appreciate and find joy in the most. So here is a list of those things that will start to compile on here. because I find joy in lists too.

• nails and everything that comes with them. 
• flowers and sunshine
• hair styles 
• make-up and tutorials
• all things youtube and videos of my own
• shoes
• my family and friends
• travelling 
• music 
• tv and movies

I hope you enjoy this blog and continue to follow along with my endeavors and what not.  :)

Today's Nails: Mermaids

My nails today consist of : O.P.I. No room for the blues, Urban Outfitters Unicorn glitter, Dashing Diva Design FX Nail fashion stickers all topped with Urban Outfitters Candy Coating Blue Raspberry Top Coat.

New and Improved

First Post on my new blog. A few things first, I do have tumblr, but since I turned 20 yesterday I've decided to start acting like it. Here is a list of things that I have decided to do now that I am 20.

• create a blog on blogspot
• dye my hair again
• start saving money for this coming semester
• read 5 new books
• get an HD camera to take quality pictures and video with
• lose 20 more pounds
• drink more hot tea versus coffee
• be organized
• be more appreciative of the things I have and the people in my life
• encourage others even when I need encouraging
• share my life with the rest of the world

So that's my list so far. I hope to be posting quite a big more on here about my life. Mainly videos and photos.