Loving the you beyond the surface.

For the longest time I struggled with my body image. I've never really made a big deal out it in front of everyone. But I definitely have not always loved the skin that I'm in. It has taken me a quite a while to realize that loving yourself and being confident in yourself does not necessarily have anything to do with what you look like on the outside. 

Personally, I've been trying to figure out who I am and loving who I am on the inside. Because if I don't love the me beyond the surface, then there is no way that I can figure out how to love the body that God gave me. I was not blessed with a high metabolism and therefore I have to work really hard to lose weight. I can't just eat whatever I want, whenever I want because its there and it tastes good. I have to monitor what I eat, eat smaller portions/meals, have healthy snacks, and drink lots of water. 

I've been so busy with work and figuring out how to make my inner self be happy that I let my outer self go for a while. But lately its been getting easier and I've somehow managed to find a way that works for me. I monitor what I eat everyday but using this app called Lose It! You can do a whole weight loss plan and everything, and the best part is that it's free for everyone. (Not a sponsored post) Though I haven't had much time to exercise yet, I have still managed to lose 10 pounds in almost 2 months just based on changing my eating habits and cutting out soda almost entirely. 

Seeing those results on the scale twice a week and generally feeling better and not as sluggish or tired is amazing and it can only get better from here on out. The best advice I can give to any of you who are trying to gain some more confidence on the inside and the outside, is to keep track of everything, pray a lot, have a good support system (or someone who is trying to lose weight as well join you in your challenge to yourself) and to not beat yourself up for gaining a pound here and there. It's a process, just try to get to know yourself all over again. 

Once you realize that you are different now than you used to be, it will all become a lot easier. You have a lot more strength then you realize. You can do anything that you set your mind to. Don't let anyone else tell you how to be you, just do your absolute best but not over do it.  Also never lose weight because someone else wants you to. You do it for yourself, or don't. The whole point is that it is up to you and you only. 

Thank you so much for reading this, sorry if my thoughts weren't as cohesive today as they usually are, it's been a long day and I'm tired. Also if anyone is from Florida reading this then please be safe on the road and in your travels. 

xo Cassie

Things I've learned since being in a serious relationship.

So most of you may know that I've been dating my boyfriend Ian now for almost a year and half. He is honestly one of the best things to ever happen to me. Being in this relationship has taught me so much about love and myself as a person. We started dating at the beginning of my last semester of college. This has helped me grow a lot as person but in some ways it hasn't. It's not a bad thing at all it has just been one big learning experience for me.

Him and I have a great relationship, its not perfect but I wouldn't have it any other way. He understands me like no one else does, and I hope he always does even when I change throughout life. I hope he will still love me enough to always keep learning new things about me as I get older and change with age. But throughout this whole process I have learned that I can't give our relationship 100% unless I love myself and take care of myself first, mentally and emotionally. I have to be the best me I can for me and for him.

Since I've been going through all of these emotional changes and difficulties with being happy and content with who I am, though it hasn't effected our relationship, it has made me realize just how much I had been relying on him to love me when I was transitioning from being a college student to a full fledged working adult. When I did this it made me take a step away from taking the time to take care of myself and love myself, not only for who I was in college but also who I was becoming.

This is how I believe my anxiety started even though I worried, cared about, and loved Ian during that whole time. I had left my old self out in the cold without all of the old things I loved to do that used to keep me warm and happy by just being myself. For instance, like blogging, singing, making videos, painting my nails, listening to music, drinking coffee while doing my makeup, and simply enjoying my life for what it was. Instead, I just didn't even think about all of that stuff because I was "too busy" with how my life was changing, no longer being in school, moving back home, trying to find a job at the time, making time for my new relationship and deciding what I wanted to do with my life.

I was so worried about the unknown of it all and the future that was fast approaching. It felt like I had no other choice but to have it all figured out right away. I know that anxiety just doesn't go away in a day and that it is going to take some time and work to adjust and remind myself that I can always do something to change the mood I'm in. I don't have to be warn down and unhappy. "Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." -Dumbledore

Thank you all for reading and being with through all of this. You are all one in a million. Stay tuned for Monday's post on my top 10 ways to relieve stress for 2016.

xo Cassie

Where I'm at right now..

There is something to be said about finding yourself. For starters, you never really stop finding yourself. Not to me at least. Sure every few years I will get a feeling like I really really know myself and am content and happy with who I am. But the hard part is, is that you don't stay that way. We as humans are always adapting to our new situations, surroundings, and people in our lives that we don't realize that every little change adds up and before we know it, we are a few years older and a completely different person then we used to be.

That's how I feel right now, I don't feel much like myself anymore. It's not necessarily a bad thing, that I'm different. Some things have changed for the better and others have not. This doesn't always happen to everyone and the severity of it varies. Today it hit me like a ton of bricks and not in a good way. I've been graduated from college for a little over a year now and it's taken me this long to realize that I need to make some changes for myself, to better myself and not subconsciously.

I've thought about it a lot and maybe this is what happens to most people who are transitioning from one lifestyle to the next. For instance, being put into the little bubble I like to call college and then when that bubble pops and forces you to move on to the next thing (whatever that may be) its really overwhelming and it makes you think that you have no other choice but to leave your old self behind and "grow up", be an adult right away without giving one thought on how it's going to effect you.

I just want to be who I am now combined with bits and pieces of who I was a year and half ago. I miss getting to take my time putting my makeup on while drinking my coffee, I miss spending hours on tumblr instead of writing a paper, I miss blogging, I miss singing and making videos for fun, I miss listening to inspiring music, I miss my dyed red hair, I miss painting my nails all the freaking time and posting about it, and most of all I just miss how easy going, bubbly and happy I was. Now it's all about  being mentally and emotionally self-aware and realizing that it effects others too.

From this point forward, I am going to make some changes toward my happiness. Including blogging more often and doing little things to help me relax. So if you are with me on this journey and have read everything up until this point, then I just want to say Thank you, and tell you how much you are appreciated and loved. I have always tried my best to be completely genuine with every single person I have met in my life even if we were just acquaintances. So thank you for taking interest in my feelings and what I have to say. I promise that I will be genuine and honest on here as well.

I will be posting on Monday's and Thursday's, to challenge myself and to help with self-reflection. If any of you have blogs too please feel free to send me links on Facebook. Thursday's post will be about what being in a serious long-term relationship has taught me so far. Stay tuned!!

xo Cassie