Where I'm at right now..

There is something to be said about finding yourself. For starters, you never really stop finding yourself. Not to me at least. Sure every few years I will get a feeling like I really really know myself and am content and happy with who I am. But the hard part is, is that you don't stay that way. We as humans are always adapting to our new situations, surroundings, and people in our lives that we don't realize that every little change adds up and before we know it, we are a few years older and a completely different person then we used to be.

That's how I feel right now, I don't feel much like myself anymore. It's not necessarily a bad thing, that I'm different. Some things have changed for the better and others have not. This doesn't always happen to everyone and the severity of it varies. Today it hit me like a ton of bricks and not in a good way. I've been graduated from college for a little over a year now and it's taken me this long to realize that I need to make some changes for myself, to better myself and not subconsciously.

I've thought about it a lot and maybe this is what happens to most people who are transitioning from one lifestyle to the next. For instance, being put into the little bubble I like to call college and then when that bubble pops and forces you to move on to the next thing (whatever that may be) its really overwhelming and it makes you think that you have no other choice but to leave your old self behind and "grow up", be an adult right away without giving one thought on how it's going to effect you.

I just want to be who I am now combined with bits and pieces of who I was a year and half ago. I miss getting to take my time putting my makeup on while drinking my coffee, I miss spending hours on tumblr instead of writing a paper, I miss blogging, I miss singing and making videos for fun, I miss listening to inspiring music, I miss my dyed red hair, I miss painting my nails all the freaking time and posting about it, and most of all I just miss how easy going, bubbly and happy I was. Now it's all about  being mentally and emotionally self-aware and realizing that it effects others too.

From this point forward, I am going to make some changes toward my happiness. Including blogging more often and doing little things to help me relax. So if you are with me on this journey and have read everything up until this point, then I just want to say Thank you, and tell you how much you are appreciated and loved. I have always tried my best to be completely genuine with every single person I have met in my life even if we were just acquaintances. So thank you for taking interest in my feelings and what I have to say. I promise that I will be genuine and honest on here as well.

I will be posting on Monday's and Thursday's, to challenge myself and to help with self-reflection. If any of you have blogs too please feel free to send me links on Facebook. Thursday's post will be about what being in a serious long-term relationship has taught me so far. Stay tuned!!

xo Cassie